“The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.” ― Ernest Hemingway
Toxic relationships are like bad habits. We know we are in one but we cannot break free. Well you don’t need to be harsh on yourself, even the sturdiest of us cannot get out of a toxic relationship without breaking a sweat but the underlying question is why do we do it? Why do we choose to stay in a toxic relationship?
But this is love!
One might say love. When you know you're in a toxic relationship and that you deserve better, know it’s not the end. You will find the love you deserve. For some of us, this thought can be really frightening and disconcerting and most of us do brood over it- What if I cannot find love again? What if this relationship is the best I can ever get? With such thoughts dominating your mind, you feel brow-beaten and you don’t want to let go.
Too much investment
The next on the list is investment. It takes time to get to know someone and fall in love. Probably you’ve been with this person for months or it’s been years and you don’t want all of it to go in vain. You’ve invested copious amounts of your time and effort in this person that letting go of him/her somehow feels like letting go of yourself.
Attachment is what makes us hold on to people, things and even situations. When it comes to attachment, it doesn’t really matter how long you have known or been with someone, it’s all about the connection. We just want to keep holding to this person even if the relationship is deteriorating day by day. Letting go for some reason just doesn’t seem like the right option.
Getting out of your comfort zones can be petrifying and this is what getting out of a relationship propels you to do. The fact that things will change and you don’t want them to. The fact that this person won’t be around anymore and you’ll have to start over. This feels like a phase of life is over and yes, you try to stick to it at all costs, even when it’s costing you, yourself.
Fear of being alone
Last, but definitely not the least. We don’t want to be alone, we really don’t. Being with someone, sharing moments and making memories, it makes life a hell lot easier, doesn’t it? To just have someone by your side, someone you trust. Some of us are okay being all by ourselves but the bitter truth is that most of us aren’t.
It doesn’t matter what your reason is to stick with it but trust me, no reason is good enough to not get out of a toxic relationship. Sooner or later you will find out. It might be tough at first but it will turn out to be alright. Once you know what you deserve, you’re a step closer to getting it.
“I burned by bridges so the devil couldn't follow me.” ― L.M. Browning, Vagabonds and Sundries