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Tapaswini Varshneya


Just something sentimental

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5 months ago
5 months ago
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Feel the pain

I somehow feel more comfortable in toilets.

Standing in front of the mirror, 

looking through my eyes, 

all I see is the deepest hidden pain that could have ever existed. 

But maybe this isn’t the greatest, as compared to everyone, 

but this is my pain; 

not yours. 

Those closed four walls, with a locked door, 

tends to give me a better feeling of being alone - 

of feeling my pain all alone. 

It’s better, not sharing sometimes. 

It’s better, when you talk it out, 

not with someone, but with yourself:

while you stare at yourself, with those hurt eyes. 

Maybe, that’s not how it is felt nowadays though, 

but this is my pain;

not yours. 

Moving on from standing in front of the mirror, 

I put the toilet seat down and just sit and ponder. 

I wonder how things could have been different; 

learn from what I did wrong; 

hope to see the positive in the situation perhaps. 

I’ve always done that, too many times. 

I cry till the deepest of my feelings come out, 

it’s safer - that’s why. 

It’s safer inside those four walls, where I can cry, 

and not have people judge me for my thoughts. 

Guess I feel safer feeling this inside the toilet, 

but this is my pain; 

not yours. 

Moving out of the toilet, 

comes only one motive:

you forgive and you forget. 

You stay patient and be good to everyone. 

Protect the people you love, 

and hope that one day things will become better. 

You stay strong and appreciate what you have. 

And hey, 

Why stay so upset about your pain?

Life’s too short to worry about one problem. 

Guess that’s how I deal with my pain;

not you. 

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